Fading Grace
by Aurora18021
Summary: River contemplates her memories and her place in the world... [one shot thing that popped into my brain]preRayne


**Fading Grace**

"Einstein!"

The sound of his sister's anguished wail alerted Simon Tam, and he raced to the passenger dorms, Kaylee at his heels.

"River?" Simon said softly, hesitantly. He took a step in to see her normally immaculately arranged room looked like space monkeys had taken over.

"Oh!" He heard Kaylee gasp behind him at the sight.

"I cannot find Einstein! Not here, not anywhere," River muttered frantically, throwing her underwear up into the air as she searched her already crumpled sheets.

"Einstein?" Kaylee whispered, her hand resting on Simon's shoulder.

"Her stuffed animal," Simon replied gradually, drudging up the memory to the surface. "God, I'd forgotten about him."

"Impossible!" River continued her rant as she flipped her suitcase upside down, letting the contents fall out. "Things do not disappear. We forget. We misplace."

"Maybe I should go," Kaylee suggested, pulling back. Simon nodded noncommittally. After all there wasn't much she could do.

River shook the empty suitcase. "She did not forget! She remembers the hue, the shape, the design, the age…"

Finally Simon went to his sister's side, touching her arm briefly. "River, stop. Einstein isn't here. He's at home."

River turned to face him, her gaze flickering. "At home?" She looked as if she was struggling to wake up.

Simon nodded and then gave her a smile. "We're on a ship, remember?"

"_Serenity_," River said calmly, letting go of the suitcase. "Paradoxical name."

Simon's brow creased. "I guess. Come on, _mei-mei_, let's get you cleaned up." He cast a glance at the smears of ink on her face and the rip in her sweater.

River let herself be led down the hall to the bathroom. "The laws of the 'verse dictate we cannot destroy matter," she told her brother seriously.

"Very true," Simon replied with a smile. He dipped a cloth in warm water and turned around. Gently, he held her chin, wiping at the ink streak.

River tugged her chin out of his grasp and looked straight into his face. "Doesn't mean they can't smash and break it. Uncalculated quantities of bits and pieces. Hard to put back together."

Simon felt his stomach drop. "No," he whispered, reaching out to wipe her cheek again. "No it doesn't."

"Did he fade away?" River asked, her voice childlike.

"Who? Einstein?" Simon turned around to wet the cloth again.

"He did," she continued, as if she hadn't heard her brother. "Memories are fragile, malleable. No foundation."

"River," Simon tried again, firmer. "Einstein is at home. But we're having an adventure, right? So, you'll see him when we get home."

Blinking, the younger backed away. "Fading…" She spun on her heel and ran.

"_Ta ma de_." Simon quickly set the towel down and wiped off his hands before chasing after her.

* * *

Jayne grunted loudly as he lifted the heavy weight up and down repetitiously. He could hear the prissy doc and Kaylee shouting the moonbrain's name.

Snorting, he wondered why they were even bothering. The crazy girl seemed to have a real knack for hiding, and their search was pointless.

Sweat beaded along his lip and Jayne set the bar down, wiping his lip and sniffled.

"Jayne? You ain't seen River, have ya?" Kaylee called down in her sweet voice.

"No, don't want Crazy near me ever," he said gruffly, standing up. He stretched his muscled arms and rolled his neck.

His knife and gun holster were sitting on a crate opposite his workout bench underneath a ragged towel. Jayne stalked over and lifted the towel to his sweaty face.

He gaze slid over his weapons unintentionally, but he paused when he noticed his knife was missing. Very carefully, he dropped the towel on the crate, and oh-so-slowly glanced over the side.

There, curled up in a ball with _his_ gorram knife in her hand, was little miss crazy herself.

"What the ruttin' hell do ya think yer doin' with my knife?" He demanded, glaring down at her.

"Signature," she replied and resumed carving her name in the metal of _Serenity_.

"Mal!" Jayne bellowed and gave her a smirk. "Ain't gonna be happy yer carvin' up the ship."

Gracefully, she rose to her feet and stood in the proper ballet pose. She set the knife on the cargo, and gave Jayne one of her creepy smiles.

"I'll not fade away."


End file.
